Monsters. Day 74.
November 11th, 2010 § Leave a Comment
I just got a phone call from my mirror souled creative other-half who I haven’t heard from since the Great Departure of 2010. Such joy from hearing his voice over my little iphone, but so much anxiety talking about the incident that I actually started shaking. I thought I was over this. Well, OK, I knew I wasn’t over it, but I thought I’d at least started to move past it. Anger is a funny thing. I compared this incident to breaking up with a love, but it is different, seated deeper than that. Hanging up the phone, I realized that my old friends, depression and darkness had invited themselves in for the evening. I’ve had break-ups that were easier to cope with than this. The snake that you don’t even hear. Feeling his fangs pierce your skin, your world spins more slowly. It doesn’t happen instantly, this little guy has other plans. Meandering through your veins, taking it’s sweet-ass time, the venom seeps through your arm, then your leg. Time seems to stop, and then it finally reaches your chest. You feel the pulling, and tightening. It may not be enough to kill you once the when some of venom has been sucked out as if it were part of a great tormenting exorcism.
Months pass, the bruising finally heals, the scabs come off, and you start to exit the shadows, in the darkness that you have become. Still shaking and sweating, you realize you will make it through, but you may never look at the world quite the same way again, and the world will never see you in quite the same way either. No longer poisoned, but still tainted.
This event. This thing. It is sticking to me. I called another good friend from the same space, and realized while on the phone that I have closed off my world from what it was before, making it as small, and warm as possible to combat my inner anger. Was this healthy, was this really the right thing to do? I still get txts from people seeing me on Speed Channel or HDTV Theater, from before the year changed seasons, ironically letting in more light, which seemed to be the opposite of my life at the time. Now that the seasons are changing again, darkness seams oddly inappropriate, welcome, but not where I am moving.
Maybe it’s time to actually step back outside, back into my previous life. Maybe not.
I have made some good progress on the Sherpa skirt, but now feel so distracted that I have become sidelined to the rest of the day. My focus gone, elated to hear from my friend on the phone, anxious about the past, and now, again, the future, I leave you with my Lada Gaga Meat Dress Halloween Costume.
Inspiration from a Lady who keeps her personal life private in the fish-bowl that surrounds her, and lives through art both of her own creation and of others. She may seem like only an outlandish pop-star, but she is courage in physical form. My—somewhat silly—tribute to you.
And, depression and anxiety, a message to you: You can suck-it. I’m too good for you now. I don’t know why you can’t see that. Bitterness, you can suck-it, too.
As my D200 camera battery is dead, and I have conveniently lost its charger, these photos are courtesy of friends. Neither show the shoes well, which were the best part. You win some, you loose some. At least someone remembered to take pictures. The police hat is courtesy of my friend Sarah, who also dressed up as a stripper police officer. You can see my “steak” hat in the picture of Ramon Stan and me.
PS – I apologize for the cryptic nature of this post. It’s better this way.
For the first time ever, I have found that my dislike of diamonds has left me at a loss. Day 61.
October 29th, 2010 § Leave a Comment
Because I am not a diamond fan, as I have worked in the diamond industry, I don’t own any real ones, except for the one in my nose, or really any fake ones. I have one fake engagement ring, for when I travel alone, and a pair of diamond hoops, fake, of course.
Halloween costume completed, I realize that I am lacking some accessories to make the final look, well, final. The above mentioned diamond hoops I can use for my costume, but folks would get far to excited at the sight of an engagement ring, regardless of how unreal the stone, and how real the feelings.
So, I have a dilemma. I have my sewing class all day tomorrow, and the Halloween party tomorrow night. The class doesn’t get done until 4:30. It’s a 20 minute drive home, 30 minutes MINIMUM to get ready, assuming I do my hair in the morning before the class, and then 30 minutes to drive to the party, which starts at six, which leaves me with not much time to run by the *shudder* mall, to get some fake bling to make my costume BLING (with a capital B) …
My costume, by the way, is fucking fabulous. I wish I could give you a spoiler, but it’s that good that I can’t. Oh fake diamond dilemma, how will you resolve yourself?
I think I’ll work on this problem by having another glass of wine.
And, if you are guessing what my costume is … My Dad got it in the first try. UNBELIEVABLE!
How to make a Pom-Pom. Halloween South Park Stan Hat Completed. Day 61.
October 29th, 2010 § 2 Comments
Yeah, Hooray. I have finished Ramon’s Halloween South Park Stan hat in the nick of time. Now, if only I had my costume finished, as well. Mmm, well, I have a few more hours tonight to plug through it. I did get new Serger needles today, and I had a cup of coffee about an hour ago—yes, at 5 pm—so I should be ready to go.
So, other than absolutely hatting Vanna’s Choice yarn, which is like knitting with sand-paper, I think that Ramon’s Halloween Hat is just about perfect. As I mentioned last night I completely re-did it. I didn’t like the pattern that I used, so in the second hat, I made some modifications, mostly making the “straight” part of the blue longer than 2 inches. I made it 5 inches. I felt like the blue part wasn’t balanced against the red, and was just too short.
I also decided to post my instructions for making a pom-pom. I had never done one before and for whatever reason, found it hard to find these instructions online.
1. Find an able, and active pom-pom-maker helper (this step is optional)
2. Draw two circles on cardboard. I made mine 4 inch in diameter.
2a. Draw two inner circles inside of the first circles. I made these 1 inch in diameter.”
2b. Carefully cut them both out, and cut out the inner circles, making two donuts.
3. Stack the two donuts, one directly on-top of the other
4. Begin wrapping the yarn around and through the donuts. I found that I cutting a few yards of yarn, making a small yarn-ball out of it, and passing it through the hole was the easiest method for getting a lot of yarn through at once, without a lot of unnecessary pulling.
5. Continue wrapping until the entire inner circle is filled. I used one of my new handy crochet hooks to help pull the yarn through as the hole got smaller. I used a tapestry needle to continue when the hole became too small for the crochet hook.
6. Carefully cut around the edge of the circle, between the two pieces of cardboard with very sharp scissors.
7. Pull a piece of yarn between the two pieces of cardboard, and tie tightly in a knot, or four, and then remove the pieces of cardboard.
8. Attach your pom-pom to your garment, only to realize that, while you were trying to make it big and a little cartoony, as it is a Halloween costume, you have made it too big. Let out a sigh, and move onto the next project, as it will take too long to re-make something a half an inch smaller on each side.
If I am really feeling wild and wacky, I’ll crochet Stan’s eyebrows on. Though, lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I don’t care what they say, knitting is easier than crochet. Day 60.
October 28th, 2010 § Leave a Comment
So, I have decided to become a baseball fan. No, not a fair weather fan, but an all weather fan. Of course, yes, I am deciding this now that my local team is in the World Series. I actually put a lot of thought into this. Over the summer some of Ramon’s friends gave him tickets to a game, as they are season ticket holders and couldn’t make it to that game. Well, I had the best time every. Other than our cross-country road-trip it was the summer highlight. Riding on the feeling, I did consider that I might want to become a fan of a team with colors that suited me better than orange and black, but because I had such a fun time at that game at AT&T park I decided to stick with the Giants.
So, last night I watched the game, and worked on my crochet monkey. I finished the body, the cape, and the fez.
Tonight I re-did, and completed Ramon’s Halloween hat, with the exception of the red ball that goes on top.
So, half a monkey and a bit-sized jacket and fez versus a whole hat. I am so tired of everyone saying that crochet is so much easier than knitting. I can get through an entire sweater in a week and a half, but a weee monkey?
Ok, ok. I remember how it was when i first started knitting. It took me a month to get through a scarf. Sometimes it is hard to remember and to respect the learning curve. I can see that crochet *will* be easier. In-fact, I even crochet closed Ramon’s Halloween hat instead of knitting it, because the hole was so small, and you don’t drop stitches in crochet like you do in knitting. So, patience my little monkey. I need to remember that it will take time to feel the same way about my ability to crochet as my ability to knit.
Luckily, with Ramon’s hat (almost) done, I am one step closer to Halloween costume success. With our Halloween party only two days away, and with my all day Bernina class on Saturday, I have some really serious Halloween costume finishing to get done tomorrow. OMG! I know I can get it all done but … I want to get the houndstooth skirt done tomorrow, and the hallway pictures done, too! I am also trying to get my blue McQueen Sweater Dress done before we head off to Kentucky for the Breeder’s Cup next week. I think that Thunder, the grey kitten, I am pretty sure will love the ball that will go on Ramon’s hat. I wonder, with her joy for playing fetch, will Ramon’s hat stay intact long enough to celebrate the main event?
Suffering from Knitter’s Elbow. Day 51.
October 19th, 2010 § 2 Comments
I have knitter’s elbow, and wrist! I have been helping out some friends for the past few days, but there is a lot of waiting involved. My arm literally hurts from knitting. So, I have designated tonight a (k)no-knitting-(k)night. I was hoping to get some time in my sewing room, but it looks like I lack the energy and the time for that.
This weekend I finally bit the bullet and finished of my block pattern. ‘Bout Damn Time! I had been putting it off because I needed more measurements of my back, one of the things that is just about impossible to measure all on your own. Ramon has been so busy with his own project—his race-car—that he hasn’t had a spare moment either. Alas without help, I decided to go it alone. It took a solid two days, but I got it sorted, drafted, and squared. I felt that it was really holding me back not having this done, and it was. I started on some dress patterns as soon as I got the block finalized, and it is coming along nicely. A little McQueen, and a little Halloween.
On the topic of Halloween, since this is the very first time that we will actually be home over Halloween weekend, Ramon and I are getting candy, dressing-up, and carving pumpkins. We also going to a Halloween party the night before. So, we need Halloween costumes. I am knitting this for Ramon’s.
Yesterday I tried knitting this same item, and got the blue and the red in the wrong places. To my horror, it wasn’t just Ramon’s Halloween costume part, but everything I knit yesterday had to be frogged. I started knitting the lace sweater directly from the pattern published in the book, and the whole time I was thinking … this doesn’t seem right. A mere four hours in, I decided to check ravelry to see if other knitters had experienced the same problem with the pattern. They had. In-fact, there was HUGE warning on that pattern’s page, saying that the entire pattern was wrong, and it was mis-printed. Lesson learned? Always check the ravelry pattern BEFORE beginning a project to look for comments and posts about weird goings-on.
So, a cookie to anyone who can guess what Ramon is going to be for Halloween.
Due to my large quantity of on-going projects, I have limited this costume to a one-day creation adventure. Project Runway style, what am I going to be, you ask? You’ll just have to wait and see.
I was happy to see it finally start raining on Sunday. I don’t know what it is, but this year, I was very happy to see the rain come in. I like being all snuggled up inside, and I guess with so much knitting and sewing I felt like I wanted the visual cue of the season that it was time to be inside, snuggled and warm, busy as a little bee. I did decide to go out on Sunday to take advantage of the 50% off any regularly priced item coupon I had acquired from Joann’s. Buying a bolt of muslin for $1 a yard is awesome. Having the poor girl at the counter have to measure all 25 yards because the bolt has been opened, and we’re not sure if cut from, not so awesome. Sorry! After the muslin bargin bang I headed over to my local yarn shop, as I figured out how many skeins I will need for my McQueen blue sweater dress. 15. Running through the rain, I noticed Oktoberfest going on, on the main downtown street. Soggy beer and pretzels for everyone! Oh wait, those both contain wheat. Another bummer, I get to the yarn store and it is … CLOSED! Feeling bummed, but eager to get on with knitting my project I searched the farest corners of the interweb to try to find Cascade Cloud 9 in Blue (colorway 140). No dice. Not one skein. Not one. Anywhere. How can this be? I know the yarn store had quite a bit of it, so how can there be none anywhere else int he world? Oh no! And I won’t be able to make it to the store again until NEXT weekend. How can I possibly wait another week? It could all be gone by then. What if they’re already all gone? I find this yarn I love, and this yarn that is perfect for the project … oh, unnecessary anxiety attack, I feel you approaching. Damn you festival, why do you create enough cause for my yarn store to be closed?
Ramon calmly asked, in my hysterics, “Do they keep your customer information? Like, do they have a file for you?” I respond, “Yes.”
“Well, if they have you on file, they have all of your yarn purchases on file. Why don’t you call them, leave them a message, tell them what you are looking for, tell them you want to pay over the phone, and have me pick it up for you?”
Brilliant. Plan worked. The accounting lady actually went in on Sunday night to pick something up, listened to the messages, and took care of the yarn over the phone. They had all 14 (more) skeins. Knitting like a little beaver, I am almost through with the back “skirt.”
I know I say this all the time, but oh how I love yarn people.
Oh, and I couldn’t leave this out. Thunder says, “Hello, I am Thunder, and I am a laundry-basket addict. I don’t care about fur-ing up the warm clothes, I just can’t get enough of the baskets. I know I have a problem.”
