Ambivalence and Ingenue, Finding my Inner Audrey
September 1st, 2011 § 2 Comments
I have to admit that I am feeling a great amount of ambivalence right alongside disappointment today. I have spent the first half of the week auditing classes, figuring out how I want to fill some of my time with learning. I have concluded to stay enrolled in 3 classes, the first is hand sewing techniques (embroidery, beading, etc), the second is a Fabric Science Class and the third and final is a pattern grading (both by hand and through gerber systems) class. Remaining on the roster until, literally, 3 minutes ago was the History of Fashion class, but I just pressed the drop button, away it went, and now my money is being returned to me, sometime in the next 7–10 business days (even though it only takes 10 minutes to give it to you…). Now, still in possession of my history book, which I purchased on Amazon in June for $50, do I sell it again? I can likely get about $100 for it …
Why do I feel ambivalent? Ramon and I took a good hard look at the Fashion Department curriculum and reviewed what it would really take for me to get a second degree, which I don’t really need. Even with all of my transferred credits I’d still need to take about 80 more units in order to fulfill the Associates Degree requirements, and with everything in my life I am just not sure this coincides with my overall goals. Yes, it be nice, but I’d really need to be going full time for a few years, and doing nothing else. That’s just not really in the cards. I tend to bite off a little more than I can chew, but surely anyone has ever noticed, that though! Part of me didn’t want to drop the History of Fashion class, even though I know it is the right thing to do. In my mind I have plenty of time to do it all, but I know that 6 weeks from now I’d be regretting it, as it would be taking away valuable time from other endeavors. So, I did the right thing, right … right? Ugh, yes. I wish that these decisions were more cut and dry for me, but they’re just not always that way.
Another class I decided not to take was a class focused around creative garment design, though upon going to the first class I learned that this class is primarily developing of what I call Mood Boards, and then designing garment “collections” in sketch-form only from your inspirations in the mood-boards. Given that I have taught a class like this at the Academy of Art, even though the “collections” designed were logos and visual branding, I just can’t see myself super excited about spending 12 hours a week on homework doing something that may not be helping me to get ahead as much as some other topic. The hard part is that if the teacher doesn’t have 20 students then she must teach the class as Directed Study (Independed Study) versus 2 times a week in a classroom environment. Well, guess what number I was. Yep, 20. So, there is some guilt and disappointment there, but at the same time, I can’t go to a class for 16 weeks to make other people happy.
Though, often when I start taking a class, or classes, I quickly notice a common thread running through my life and some special piece of content. What I have noticed this week is structure. Last week I happened to catch a show that has been a long time running, though I’d never previously experienced it. It’s a little show called, SuperNanny. This has, even though I have only seen 3 episodes, become my new favorite show. My immediate take-away is the importance of structure in a young-one’s life, which has caused me to reflect on my own upbringing. While spending a fabulous long weekend in Seattle with Ramon and his equally as fabulous business partner, Nicole, we discussed the concept of structure while raising children in some detail. Ramon had an extremely different upbringing than I did, with complete lack of structure. I had a lot of structure, and was lucky enough to have my mother be a stay-at-home mom until I was in elementary school, and I really think that this helped me to become a happy successful person. Ramon, with very little structure from his parents, even as a young child, worked to put structure in his life, and he is very happy and successful as an adult.
The concept of structure reared it’s head in both the sewing techniques class and the fabric science class earlier in the week. First, the idea was presented that that we won’t buy things unless they are comfortable, and these garments generally lack physical structure, as physical structure in a garment makes us sit-up straighter, restricts motion, etc, as well having clothes that have less structure are more applicable to a variety of body types. Second, in the Fabric Science class, clothes with more structure are generally used in social situations where we are trying to create a better impression of ourselves.
The idea that we won’t buy clothing if it is not comfortable is a very valuable notion. Look at how much knitwear (t-shirts, stretchy dresses, leggings, yoga pants, sweaters, sweatshirts, etc) is in our closets, and look at which things are so easy to get out of the closet first. How many times have you picked the knit top versus the silk blouse … why? Because the knit top is more comfortable and moves with you. And in terms of structured garments helping us to create a better impression of ourselves, think about how many prom dresses, wedding dresses, or men interviewing in suits that look casual and comfortable. But are these points not true with structure in our lives, too?
Remaining on the structure point, I feel like I have been needing more structure in my life to help me stay on track. A fitted bodice if you will. Previously I have really enjoyed taking the classes, even if some of my teachers, or the content have been a little underwhelming. I like the schedule to arrange my day around, but I don’t want it to take over my entire life. And thinking about structure and McQueen (I’ve got to make this thing go full circle), well, if there is one thing that McQueen is all about …even the knitwear … need I say more.
So, after all that, I am feeling a little less ambivalent, but still disappointed, for completely different reasons. A little knitting therapy always helps,but that is part of my current disappointment. I have been trying for a couple of months to find a variegated yarn that works completely harmoniously in my concept for a pattern design. I got new yarn yesterday to try, and yet again, failure. I don’t want to accept that the project isn’t going to work out …
I guess that things just don’t always work out the way you want them to, and instead of throwing things across the room it is better to accept it and move on. Some women think of the strength of Elizabeth Taylor overcoming adversity to emotionally deal with conquering their own. She’s never been quite my style, so I try to channel my inner Audrey Hepburn.
In addition to all of my pattern designs, I try to work on a little something for myself, everyday. Even if it is only for 5 minutes, I still want to make things just for me. I learn a lot by following other people’s patterns, and I have a lot of fun working with other people’s designs, and that is the whole point of knitting, right? To have fun? I think so.
Custom Knits by Wendy Bernard
Last year, about this time, I picked up a book called Custom Knits, in which I found a sweater that seems pretty much directly inspired by Audrey Hepburn, even if I am the only one who thinks so. The sweater is called Ingenue. So in one of my recent yarn orders, I bought some yarn that is in my budget (Valley Yarns Northhampton in Fawn) to work on Ingenue, which I am also knitting Continental Style, just as the Owls. This one is coming out much nicer. The wool isn’t my favorite texture, but I just adore the color.
The image at the top of this post is the final project in the book, and just below is an image of the finished collar, and the inside of the garment, where I have (I think) created a beautiful modification:
Instead of sewing the Cast On edge of the collar to the inside, bottom pattern repeat (fold over and sew with Wrong Sides Together), I K2Tog including the CO row and the last row of the last pattern repeat. This has resulted in a very nice finished edge, even hiding the CO row, completely, as it has been turned to the inside of the collar, which is enclosed.
Back to the point here, channeling an individual’s energy and spirit is a lot easier to do with something so reminiscent of them in front of you for so long. This project has become such a joy to work on, it is doing much more for me than knitting something without that outside influence that I am looking for. I think that this project is going to go much quicker than I anticipated, and maybe I can bring some of that influence into more of my own work and pattern development. Audrey is such a great muse and such a beautiful soul.
Oh, I am feeling better already.
- Added Structure? Check!
- Inspiration? Check!
- Knitting Therapy? Check!
- Sewing?
I think I know what is coming next.
[...] 18th, 2011 § Leave a Comment I finished my Audrey Hepburn Sweater, Ingenue, from Custom Knits by Wendy [...]
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